Friday, May 14, 2010

Ups and Downs

Ups and downs is part and parcel of the Himalayas, and literally. And my frame of mind fluctuated along with its ups and downs too.

At the beginning, my mood moved proportionately to the heights. Though challenging, every step taken meant a step closer to the top. But when the weight of my backpack and the altitude pressed on my body minutes after minutes, hours after hours, I was more than happy to see a downhill path.

Until it reached a point when I realize that going downhill meant undoing all the initial effort of climbing, especially when the track dropped to a river or a stream where after crossing, you have to climb ALL the way up to the initial point of height.

That was when I realize ups and downs are both equally painful. Because they are relative to one another and especially relative to my own desires. And so, all these mood swings were just a projection of my selfish needs and frame of mind. I rejoiced when I thought reaped; I lamented when I thought I lost.

But all these ups and downs, are only purely a course of the nature and in the eyes of the nature, they are neither ups or downs, they are just them.

Just like all the creatures on earth are associated with a value that is defined in terms of their usefulness to human beings. Are they pests/threats or not?

There is a term: 平常心(ping chang xin): an unbiased heart. To accept as it is without passing any judgements. And only then can I release myself from the imprisonment of my very own frame of mind along the ups and downs.