Delays

整整一天，碰上了无数次的延误。

办理登机手续时，被理所当然地通知到，班机会延迟一小时起飞。登机后，发现飞机必须再等上一个小时。转机时，因为先前的延误，就继续延误续程的班机--再等两个小时。

一而再，再而三。仿佛在提醒我，人生，我的人生，有太多太多自己所不能掌控的变数。

延误对人情的释怀；延误了解／体会人生中最基本的情感泉源；延误对自己的了解；延误了体验在别人的人生里是属于理所当然的阶段；搞不好，还延误了与你的相识……

Been haunted by delays for the entire day.

Was told at the check-in counter that the flight would be delayed for an hour; another hour of unexpected wait on the aircraft; the earlier delays consequently delayed my connecting flight--which was another two hours of wait.

Again and again. As if reminding me, that life, my life, is a whole chunk of uncontrollable events.

Delay in coming to terms with human worlds; delay in understanding/experiencing the most basic feelings of human forms; delay in understanding myself; delay in experiencing the stages of life, that for others, is just a nature of course.

敢吗？

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-insde-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

----Neil Gaiman.

似曾相识的一种感觉。
自我总是与爱情在拔河。可是当你发现你能控制整个战局时，战局已经失去了意义。

生日快乐

又过了一年的生日。
感觉上像还给生命租来的一年时间。
用过了一年，就更近死亡一年。
好像很公平。
很多两端的事物都是一体的。
生与死，乐与愁，光与暗。
那我和你呢？

Re-discover

陪朋友逛新加坡，
重新发现自己对这个岛国的无力感。
这是一个必须不停地重新认识的岛国。
景色不断地变换，重新上妆，重新卸妆。

我们在历史博物馆里重新建构我们的历史。
重新建构真实的，也重新虚构一番。

原貌馆重新修饰了我们的祖先足迹。
原来不是修饰给旅客而是给自己看的。
有些事，不停下来重新正视，就真的忘记它曾经存在过。

失去了旧有的回忆，就只能建构新的回忆.
新的回忆变旧了，又必须让位给新的.
是谁说过，这是一座没有回忆的岛国。
每隔几年，我们的领导就会重新打造这个地方。
让她不停地新下去。

心态变得理所当然时，就开始重新认识自己。
很多自以为是的，原来只是疏忽掉的盲点。
有些麻木了的感觉，竟也会重新有感觉了起来。
有些人变得理所当然时，可能重新认识，已经来不及了。

这是电影．

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQpYHiB0k6k

尽在不言中.